With one kid, the dynamics is pretty simple. No division of attention (except when work calls), and I just needed to ensure he understands and applies the principles and concepts of such things like sharing and co-operating. Haha!
But with two, it was important from the start to manage especially the older kid well. Reading the Bible, the eldest is always given the double honor. In Nic’s studies and experience in family therapy, he also was of the opinion that attention needed to be first granted to the eldest. It is kinda sad that in the Asian culture, it is so common to hear parents espouse that “大要让小” or simply put, that the older sibling has to give way to the younger one. Well, that of course has its truth, but the sad fact is also that this is often taken to the extreme, and the older always has to give in to the younger. All. The. Time. How would the older ever feel appreciated and loved if this was the case? And wouldn’t the younger grow up to be a spoilt brat?
Well, dear Xav, if you can read this, Daddy has this assurance for you: He will always side with Jay. All the time. Apart from teaching the older to give in, it is the more important lesson for the younger to learn respect. Haha!
Well, there’s still a whole bucketload of parenting for us to learn, and admittedly, it is easy now with Xav being non-communicative at the moment. When they are both able to verbalise… that would be a different story. Ask me in a year’s time again. Haha!