Thursday, September 01, 2011

Full-time worker, over-time mom

Being a full-time working mother is no easy-peasy task. I recently read another Mummy Blogger’s blog who had to go back to work after her maternity leave ended, and she was lamenting about the “battle” between work and maternal instincts.

I can totally understand.

With Jay, I could hardly wait to get BACK to work. The incessant feedings and diaper-changing and lack of proper conversations got to me. And while Jay provided some happy respite, when I went back to work, I was really happy to get my hands dirty with things other baby poop.

You would think Baby #2 would be even easier. After all, I have the benefit of experience. Yes. You would think so.

With Xavier, it just felt different. Like the time slipped through my fingers without me knowing. Had I even managed to sufficiently bond with my baby? Maybe the time I have with Xav was lesser compared to Jay… the reason being Jay! Haha! I guess it is inevitable that the kid who can articulate will demand command more of your attention.

I mean, it was not for the lack of preparation to get-back-to-work. I got myself a new hairdo (to help hide the sleep deprivation), some new clothes (to hide the post-pregnancy flab… darn the flab!), got my head back into the “work mode” and even had time to lament over the 8 weeks that zoomed by oh-so-fast. But some things were hard to prepare for. When the BIG day came, it was a pretty non-event. Huddled us all out of the house in record time, dropped Xav at the office nursery, buried my head in some major ISO paperwork while smilingly informing my colleagues that “Yes… I’m back” and “Yes. It's been two months ALREADY.”

Though it was is was and is still tough, here’s my three steps to achieving parenthood nirvana:

1. The glass is half-full. I repeat, the glass is half-full.
Rather than mourn the lesser time I now had with Xav, I learnt to appreciate and treasure the moments I do have with him. My daily routine would be to bathe Xav personally. There are tons of easier ways, but I’ve already compromised on so many other things, I figure I need to have some minimum standard at the very least.

2. Some me-time is always needed. Always. And smack anyone who says otherwise.
For me, it boils down to time to get a nice manicure or pedicure, or time to do my hair. I work a lot. And pretty nails never fail to make me feel better. A little. Shopping salves my soul too. And the occasional Starbucks.

3. Daddy’s the man.
When it all gets a little too overwhelming for my small brain to contain, and when my two little men are running circles around me and the In-Tray at work threatens to topple over, I am happy to have a sounding board in the big man of my life, my hubby. Irritatingly, he seems to always have the right answer to my problem. I say irritating, because after he says it… it’s like “Duh! Why didn’t I think of that in the first place?!” Which is why he is the scholar of the house.

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