Saturday, October 01, 2011

Balance is the key to … parenting

I think an important mantra to parenting is BALANCE. Whether you are a stay-home mom, or one who is working full-time (or anything in-between), balance is such an important aspect to maintain sanity in life, marriage and home!

I juggle many commitments in my home – especially with two boisterous boys, my work commitments, my church ministry. I’ve had friends come up and ask me how I seem to do it “all”… but the funny thing is, I hardly feel like I am doing it all (and more importantly, doing all well). There’s SO much more I can do. As a wife, a mother, an employee, a cell group leader, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a friend. There are times I feel… Is it a matter of being a Jack of all “trades” and yet mastering none? But, like I said, I think it is a delicate balance of letting go and holding on… and more importantly, soldiering on.

For me, I drop-off my baby boy at the office nursery. And for all the benefits of having your kid just a few rooms away, I honestly spend most days hardly seeing him AT ALL for the entire day, till I pick him after work. Letting go.

And Jay is in childcare for almost half the day. It sometimes affects me, knowing my boys are forging close relationships and attachments to people other than me. For Jay, I think our bond is pretty solid. But for Xav? Have we bonded enough? Letting go.

What sustains me? Holding on – to weekends, to the occasional weekday nights when both Daddy & I are free from our work/church commitments, to public holidays, to family day outs… Basically my family time is precious. Family time equates to Ice-cream, trips to see animals & birds and loads of food!

I also have my own peculiar (peculiar and especially capricious in nature, if you ask my hubby!) balance when it comes to the domestic helper. While her main duty is to make sure my entire house doesn’t degenerate into a stinking mess, she also helps to care for Xav in the day. And I am cool about that. Letting go.

But I am the person to bathe Xav, and I try to be the one to make my boys sleep each night. It tires me to no end, but… holding on. Even though my helper can do the job too. But still… it’s all about balance.

So many things on my plate, and sometimes I do have thoughts of “de-cluttering” and taking away some non-essential parts. But a HUGE reason why I am able to do all that I am doing (and that I enjoy doing) is due to a very supportive hubby. We ensure that our busy weekday nights do not clash (so that at least one of us will be with the kiddos), though it takes quite a huge effort – and the one or two weekday nights we are both available, we ensure we bring the kids out – even if just to the beach to take a walk!


My two handsome darlings. In matching striped polo tees. (I know! Never thought I’d be that kind of Mummy too… but these Carter’s tops are too cheap and cute to pass up on!)

Our motivation at the end of the day. :)

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