Stories that bind us

Mummy Ed, a fellow Mummy blogger, shared this link to an interesting New York Times article, The Stories That Bind Us. You can read the full article here.

The article also quoted Jim Collins, author of one of my favourite books, Good to Great:

“Jim Collins, a management expert and author of “Good to Great,” told me that successful human enterprises of any kind, from companies to countries, go out of their way to capture their core identity. In Mr. Collins’s terms, they “preserve core, while stimulating progress.” The same applies to families, he said.”

So in a family unit, traditions should be formed and encouraged. Another quote from the article says this:

“Decades of research have shown that most happy families communicate effectively. But talking doesn’t mean simply “talking through problems,” as important as that is. Talking also means telling a positive story about yourselves. When faced with a challenge, happy families, like happy people, just add a new chapter to their life story that shows them overcoming the hardship. This skill is particularly important for children, whose identity tends to get locked in during adolescence.

The bottom line: if you want a happier family, create, refine and retell the story of your family’s positive moments and your ability to bounce back from the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come.”

In sharing a public blog, I also hope to have the opportunity to  jot down the ups and downs, highs and lows we went through as a family, in the hopes that my kids will have a deeper insight into the lives of their parents (or least Mummy’s point of view, hahaha).

What are some routines we try to establish in our family?

• Putting up the Christmas tree together.
• No opening of Christmas presents till the Day itself (with the exception of one present on Christmas Eve, if they stay up late enough. Haha!)
• Bedtime prayers.

I am so blessed that from past 2 weeks back, my little almost-two-year-old has taken to babbling simple prayers too. Before he was able to do so, his ever-helpful older brother would cry out “I pray for him!” followed by mimicking a baby-ish voice “Thank you God for a wonderful day. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

But now that my Xav has found his own voice, literally, I now have to restrain Jay’s enthusiasm, and let Xav have a chance to insist “I pray myself!” followed by mumblings of “bless Daddy, bless Mummy, bless Jayvon, bless Mei Mei, in Jesus’ name…. AMEN!!!!” (And the kids have to make sure their “Amen”s resonates loudly throughout the entire room.)

Hopefully we have a chance to forge more family traditions that are funny, hokey and binding to us all. While I am so not looking forward to my stint in Sydney as a full-time cooking mama (God bless my husband and kids’ stomachs), one thing I am looking forward to it the oodles of time we will be able to spend as a family over there. In my hubby’s own words, we’d both probably not have as much freed-up time till we both get to retirement age. Haha!

Any special family traditions and narratives you have?

Linking up with Susan this Monday.

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FTWM: Livin’ and lovin’ it!

(Gorgeous logo courtesy of my talented friend Regina) 

An FTWM, for the uninitiated, stands for a Full-Time Working Mother. Which, basically, is precisely what the acronym means. FTWMs hold full-time employment and are clocking in overtime back home as moms.

Some women look like they have it all. Some look like they struggle every minute. Some make it look effortless. Others may be dragging their feet at every turn. But no matter, all mothers have an awesome and huge responsibility the moment they leave that delivery suite with another living, breathing being.

Before I had Jayvon, I was pretty much clocking long, long hours at work. Public holidays, weekends… burnt, and I was happy to do so, working in an organization I loved and believed in. And I kind of harboured some thoughts my life would hardly change with the little one in the picture. Probably that was my biggest mistake. Cos change did happen, and struggle I did. I didn’t get that being able to sleep for a stretch of 3 or more hours was such a treat. I never imagined myself being so happy to see soiled diapers after a bout of constipation of the little one. I didn’t expect the heartbreaking cries of my sick child to wrench my heart so. I didn’t expect juggling all my commitments to be so hard. All the sleepless nights and the constant worrying and fussing over my baby who didn’t like the bottle and cried and whined all day at the Nursery… my work took such a plunge, and I am thankful for understanding bosses who gave me a certain amount of leeway and a great hubby who helped with the slack.

“Something’s gotta give.”

Someone once told me this. How can one have it all, really? Especially as a woman, a wife, a mother… all these seem to be more important than career or the corporate ladder. And why yes, I do agree. My family time is important to me. My weekends are now precious. Public holidays now spent at some tourist-y location with the kids in tow.

And I may not have lasted this long as a FTWM if not for a very family-friendly working environment. When I had no alternative care for my young baby, and hearing some awful stories about the state of some infantcare centres, I am SO grateful that my bosses have put aside mere space-maximization or allocation, and dedicated a good 10% percent or so of our corporate office and converted it into a… Nursery. For staff’s babies aged 2 months to 2 years old. Which meant I could bring the baby to work, pay a fraction of what I would pay outside, and have the luxury of popping in to see the kid or nurse if I so wanted. This was an awesome privilege, and one that when I relate to other friends always brings a great deal of envy as they might have to grapple with problematic domestic helpers, or nannies or over-indulgent grandparents.

In fact, I celebrated the birthdays of both Jay and Xav in this cosy little corner, where they have grown under the loving care of the Nursery aunties.

So SUPPORT is definitely a huge factor in my “success” as a continued FTWM!

And I, together with a whole lot of female (though the daddies are also welcome to put their kids here) colleagues are indebted to the foresight and kindness of our bosses!

I relish my FTWM status all the more now, with a third kid on the way, knowing full well that it is precisely my additional income that allows us to even afford a #3 (given the high preschool cost in Singapore, and the cost of hiring a live-in domestic helper to help with the chores). I relish this, because in a few months, I will be entering into a new (albeit temporary) phase of my life – starting life anew in Sydney as a SAHM (Stay at Home Mom). Life has a funny way to throw those curveballs.

And since this is my last few months (and paychecks) as a FTWM, I am happy to host this brand new linky – celebrating all other Full Time Working Mamas out there. Come and share your tale. Rant, rave, whine, celebrate – we welcome the diversity of opinions. After all, motherhood is all about our experiences!

Grab the code here & link up:

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Splish-splash fun!

My sis in law managed to snag her company bungalow for the weekend, and so we decided to throw a family barbeque as well as a combined birthday party for the two boys. Now, the cakes – you’ve seen those gorgeous ones.

Now for the entertainment… The hubs wanted to get a bouncy castle for the boys to play.

This … took me a while to get around to. I love my kids. And they love their bouncies. But it seemed a tad… too much for such a small-scale party. Including Jay and Xav, there’d be a grand total of 5 kids only (and one of my sister’s kids is in Sec 1, hardly bouncy-castle-age)!

But since this probably doubled up as the hubs’ last family gathering, I convinced myself to go check out some toy rental places.

I stumbled across Singapore Toy Club, and was blown away by the huge (and I mean HUGE) array of toys available for rental – including bouncy castles! It’s like being a kid in a candy store, as I browsed through the different bouncy castles available. There were even some bouncy castles that could be set up in a HDB flat!

Given the venue of our BBQ (a bungalow with a front garden area), I decided to go for this Wet & Wild WATER bouncy castle.

I literally could not get a shot of the bouncy before my two excited boys “attacked” this!

Apart from a slide, there were even two water cannons to “fire” away with.

Even Xav quickly got in on the action! So as Daddy and the aunties busied themselves in setting up the barbeque fire in the background, Mummy was busy getting soaked by the two boys by the slide.

But the look on their faces? PRICELESS!

Given the three-year age gap between the boys, it isn’t often that a single toy (or DVD or anything for that matter) can bring equal pleasure to both of them, so this water slide was definitely a winner in my books. The two of them had such a blast sliding, shooting, squealing with joy… Even when the rest of the family came, they were also amused by the excitement by the playground!

    When Jay’s cousin reached later, he too was psyched to go on the slide, so after the kids had their full we allowed the two of them another 30 minutes on the slide!

One slide. Three happy boys. The ingredients for any successful family gathering.

While this wasn’t my idea in the first place (my hubs is obviously the more far-sighted between us haha…), this was such a hit I am seriously considering renting bouncy castles in the future!

Many thanks to the SG Toy Club for sponsoring the rental for my two boys – I had a good experience with both the pre- and post-rental with them. My email query was very promptly replied to the same day, and the slide was delivered and set up in such quick time, with the delivery man calling me 15 minutes beforehand to give me a more accurate time of arrival, and also arrived promptly to pack up the slide after that.

Yes – this is a bit too photo-heavy for my usual Talkative Thursday post – but ah well… I just have a huge load of blogging backlog to clear (hopefully before Chinese New Year arrives!).

Come link away if you have a Talkative Thursday post up! :)

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Cakes galore!

Jay turned five, and after much consultation with the little man, he was still in several minds of what the theme to his birthday cake should be! It was a toss-up between Avengers and Power Rangers, and so, being the good mother I am (muahahah…) I decided to give him BOTH.

For his Art Party with his schoolmates and friends, we went for an Avengers theme, and I ordered some Avengers cupcakes from a local baker, Goobycakes.

The cupcakes were simply cuteness personified. And a HUGE hit with both Jay, his friends, and even the parents who took in the cute fondants, and yummy moist chocolate cake within. A few of the kids even took back a second cupcake!

We then had a smaller combined birthday celebration for both boys with both sides of the family. Yes – though Jay and Xav birthdays two months’ apart, we decided to just have a party for both of them, while the Daddy is in town.

For this party, I decided to ask Debbie to do the honours for the two cakes. Yes – TWO cakes, so both boys don’t feel “short-changed” by this combined party. Haha!

nA Power Rangers cake for Jay! I loved the four standing Rangers – as did Jay! I had no concept nor idea on how a Power Rangers cake would turn out, but the bright colours of the fondant made the cake look so alive and pretty.

For Xav, it was an easy choice – Elmo!

Loved the “furry” feel of the cream – and my little boy couldn’t keep his fingers to himself the moment we displayed the cakes!

The two cakes – and Debbie thoughtfully supplied the number candles. Which was a God-sent cos I clean forgot about getting any!

Jay inspecting his cake closely, and he made sure to tell everyone to leave him the Red Ranger!

Happiness written all over my boys’ faces.

This was worth the cost of any birthday party we threw for them. :)

Linking up with…

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The day my identity changed

This photo was taken years back, when Jay was about 6 months old.

It was on 23 January 2008 that my identity changed forever. No longer just ‘Sandra’, or just a wife, daughter, friend, worker or colleague. But the one label that will stick with me till the end of time.

Mummy.

Oh, and how I’ve enjoyed this newest title. Watching the boys grow, seeing how they have shed their baby fat to become to handsome young lads that they are today, being wide-eyed and inquisitive about the world. It has been the most amazing journey.

I told Jay, he will always have a very special place in my heart, as he was the one to give me this title – five long years ago! And when I think about it, I cannot believe it’s already been five years. 1,825 days. Seriously, just the thought makes my head reel! Someone once told me that with kids, the days seem long and the years seem short, and I couldn’t agree more. The kids grow up so fast!

Five years on, thousands of dollars spent on his preschool education, toys, knick-knacks and other essentials, hours of lost-sleep accumulated, dozens of trips to the zoo, birdpark and playgrounds… and my life has never been as fulfilling!

My musing, and linking up with Photo *Heart* Fridays!

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Having a domestic helper – the pros and cons

As a full-time working mom, the hubs and I both decided on hiring a domestic helper to, well, help out in the house, ever since we had our first kid. The toilets that needed cleaning, the clothes that would not iron themselves, the bottles that had to be sterilized. It was a pretty easy decision for us, especially given that we did not have a lot of free time with the boys, and didn’t want to spend our free time haggling over whose turn it was to do the dishes.

For us, the helper’s main duties is really to keep the house in order and clean. The care of the kids have always fell on our shoulders, though an additional pair of hands does come in useful especially with two feisty boys.

I started out with a very simple (or maybe it was simplistic) point of view. We would treat the helper with kindness, and that the kindness should be reciprocated by at least respect and care. In the last five years, I’ve had many maid changes.

Maid #1: Lasted 3 weeks. She was a Filipino maid, willing to get her hands dirty. However, she was hard of hearing, and I wasn’t keen on having to scream instructions at her. Calling out her name at our usual tone would not elicit any response. The straw that broke the camel’s back (or my tolerance level): the very first morning bath she helped prepare for my one-week old newborn was ice-cold. After being briefed once more, the very next morning, Jay’s bath was scalding hot. We had all the implements – bath thermometers and all, but to no avail if she would not listen to instructions. Given that she would be in contact with my firstborn, we had no choice but to request for a chance of helper.

Maid #2: Lasted for about 2 months. Also another Filipina, and this time a younger one. Within her first week, she was complaining of ear pain, then headaches. After consulting the doctor, and obtaining a clean bill of health each time. I also had some run-ins with the agent, who insinuated I was ill-treating the maid, cos I called to ask her to speak to the maid after she woke up from an afternoon nap. After speaking to the helper, the agent turned around to scold me. For not giving her lunch. Totally ignoring the fact that it was my maid who was NAPPING and missed her lunch as a result (the food was waiting for her to heat up). Once again, her hypochondriac nature was a little too much for us to stomach, and we had to send her back. (And as expected, we also got a earful from the agent. Sigh…)

Maid #3: We decided to switch to another maid agency, and this time, we engaged an Indonesian maid. She lasted one year, and restored my faith back in domestic helpers somewhat. I’d have loved to have her for 2 years – but we discovered she was stealing from my mom, and one night, she climbed out of the house (we lived in my mom’s house then, and were on the third floor) for some rendezvous. It was only when we found out that we also discovered it wasn’t her first jaunt out the house at night.

Maid #4: Lasted two full years, before we happily parted ways. She loved Jay, took care of him, and in the midst of other chatty maids, always made sure she had her eye on my son to make sure he kept himself out of trouble. We would have loved to keep her, but Hong Kong beckoned with its much higher pay.

My current maid is maid #5. Smart, having been to Singapore two or three times before. However, as she nears the end of her term, she is also getting on my nerves.

Shouldn’t a helper do just that – help? And sometimes I find that the helper is anything but. After so many changes in my helpers, I have no illusions to be “pals”with my helper. I have no illusions of their undying loyalty or affection for the kids. I just want someone to help. Make sure the house is well-stocked. Make sure the kids have their bags packed in the morning. Make sure we have ironed clothes to wear. Make sure food stains are wiped clean each night.

In moments of insanity (or maybe it could be extreme irritation and provocation), I have half a mind to have independence. Then sanity comes in. I take a deep breath, turn the other cheek, close the eye to the provocation, and carry on with our way of living.

Which makes me really admire friends who have kids and no helper. HOW DO THEY DO IT?

My Talkative Thursday rant this week… as I muse over having a helper (and how much help she actually offers).

Come and link up!

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Real life lessons

I recently read a blog post by one of my close blogging buddies on the lessons that Nemo has taught her lil girl. It was such an insightful post, that it also got me thinking hard. Of the kind of videos that the kids are watching, and the values that they are gleaning from them. The kids go through different phases of watching a particular DVD ad nauseum (for me, but it entertains them each time!) Right now, the DVDs that are getting maximum playback in our house are Madagascar 2, Finding Nemo and our most recent buys – VeggieTales! Surprisingly, Jay never enjoyed VeggieTales when he was younger, but now, he is amused by the talking veggies. Thankfully there was a recent kids’ sale at our church bookstore, so I got 3 DVDs for a good price!

But back to teaching lessons.

The hubby has some more, erm, avant-garde views on how to teach the kids. So instead of using the more, you know, sanitized and child-friendly Disney cartoons out there, he prefers to tell it as it is.

Jay was probably about 3 years old when the hubby showed him this video.

Jay was at a refusing to eat his meals and yet asking for snacks phase of his life. Which is probably what a lot of kids go through. And previously, we’ve already instituted a no-snack-after-dinner policy, so that he would learn to eat his proper dinner. Unfortunately there were some loopholes in that policy (read: over-indulgent grandparents). So to teach him the importance of treasuring his meals, the hubby showed him this. To show him that there are so many unfortunate people in the world who will literally eat our leftovers. (Mind you, this video isn’t easy to watch!)

I don’t recommend this to every kid, but for Jay, for his inquisitive mind, this video was a real eye-opener, and for days after that he would be asking us questions on the video.

And he also made the effort to gulp down his dinner.

It was a couple of days ago, when Jay was trying to wheedle his way into getting more toys, more biscuits, more videos, and generally just wanted MORE of everything. The hubby wanted to show him the movie Slumdog Millionaire to also open his eyes to children and people who weren’t getting MORE and yet learning to live within their means.

We saw a copy at our nearby video rental store, and yes, we borrowed and spent a night watching it.

It was tough. There were some scenes which isn’t very suitable for young children, like when Jamal’s mother got killed by the angry mob (which we had to explain to Jay) and where a child beggar had his eyes burnt so that he could earn more money (that was tough for Jay). I had watched the movie before, and so I also knew the kind of scenes that would be coming up and made sure I sat with Jay all through the show.

Lessons we told Jay that day, as the movie was played:

• Be thankful to be living in Singapore, where there are no slums, and where it is safe.
• Be mindful of the not-as-wealthy living amongst us, and be thankful for what you have. Learn to give to them and be kind to them.
• Be careful when outside (and make sure you always stay within sight of Daddy and Mummy), as you never know what might happen should you get taken away by “bad people.”

Now, I think there are easier ways to teach the kids these lessons. But somehow, the cartoons don’t “speak” to my little boy as much as real-life people and circumstances do. I (and the hubby) do note that there are some schools of thought and parents who believe that we should not expose the children to this at such a young age. For us, we felt supervised exposure was fine – meaning we were the ones to introduce this to them, and we would be watching with them. The point is not to give them nightmares. It is to show them a slice of reality. Of cos, Xav is much too young to even understand these videos, so he is not involved. Yet.

How about you, any stories to share on the methods you use to teach your kids? I welcome your Talkative Thursdays link-ups!

 

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Being sick is tough!

This has been a tough weekend. Of flus, and runny noses, and a visit to the A & E for my poor Jay – who was writhing in pain from stomach cramps.

Funny how resilient kids are. In pain at home, and once he reached the A & E, he was up and about, and as chatty as ever, albeit with less volume than normal. The next day, he was also bolstered at a day at home with just Mummy, and spent the afternoon colouring, watching videos, napping.

In my sleep-deprived brain, all I can think of… is staying at home with one sick kid tires me out by 6 p.m.!

Here’s to an easier week, and peace in Jay’s turbulent intestines!

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Capturing memories

I love taking photos, and I love to blog.

And I don’t really know why it took me so long to get a family photoshoot and blog about it. Oh yeah, cos of budget constraints. Haha! But nah, I think budget priority is what we make of it. And I guess in the last five years, it just never occurred to me or the hubby for that matter (and if the thought of a photoshoot has nary passed my mind, you can be sure it is further away for him!). So for Jay and Xav, I neither did any pre-popping professional shots (make that hardly any shots at all cos I hated looking like a whale), no Anne Geddes-esque newborn shots, and possibly these are things that I can’t “turn back the clock” and replicate. So I will just have to make do with pictures taken by my own camera.

And I think I am catching up on “lost” time.

Photo credit: Steph Tan Photography

A couple of months back, I learnt that Steph Tan, a local mummy blogger and photographer extraordinaire was running a special photo-marathon for charity, and I knew I had to be a part of this cause. Thankfully, she had a slot for us, so I dragged the hubby and two sleepy boys out of bed last Saturday and made our way to the Botanical Garden. And captured this family shot. Possibly our first, I think. And definitely one of our nicest.

The process took a lot out of us, in trying to get two cheeky boys to follow instructions, and though the shoot lasted only 30 minutes – trust me, it was a LONG thirty minutes! Run with streamers? Nah. Check out the ducks by the pond? Nah. In fact, for the two boys, I suspect Steph probably thought they didn’t have a good relationship cos she could hardly get them in the same frame together! Haha!

But my boys just don’t take too well to instructions apparently.

After the shoot had ended, and the perspiration wiped from our brows, and the hubby saying not to arrange something similar for a LONG while… and the magic happened. The boys walked off by themselves, and started playing by themselves, and the bubble gun. And how Jay showed Xav how to press the right button to get the bubbles out. And how sweetly Xav smiled when he finally managed to squeeze one bubble out. And how Jay decided his younger brother had enough time with the bubble gun and took it back. And how Xav gave his typical crying face to show his immense displeasure, while Jay was amused at that expression.

This is how they interact everyday. The shared laughter and the shared toys (though not for long durations).

Memories of growing up. :)

Linking up with…

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Having siblings – the joy and (wallet) pain

I have three sisters. Growing up, we had our deal of fun, but honestly due to the age difference between the four of us, it is probably only now that we’re all grown up that we spend time together, and enjoy family dinners more. When I was a younger kid, my two older sisters probably thought I was a “liability” to bring around – and this was how I felt about my younger sis (cos she was 10 years younger than me!)

 

Nic on the other hand had good childhood memories growing up with his younger sister, as they were only two years apart.

 

Jay and Xav are three years apart, and it looks like they are going to have truckloads of fun together, especially when Xav is at a more talkative and “interactive” age now, and Jay has realized he has not only gained a younger brother, he has gained a parrot as well.

 

Now, courtesy of his older brother, Xav has learnt the word “poo-poo.” Sigh.

 

Twice the fun… and twice the budget.

 

To many people, the “ideal” number of kids differ from person to person.

• One kid? That ain’t enough, the kid will be lonely/have some social problem/won’t learn how to share.
• Two kids? Nice, but hey, isn’t three better? After all, the first two kids are to just reproduce you and hubby, but baby #3 is “real” growth!
• Two girls? How about a boy to carry on the family name?
• Two boys? Trying for a girl, I see.
• Have a boy and a girl? Well, then the gender of the third child won’t really matter.
• Three kids? Having three and four kids has no difference eh?

 

You can never please them all. I have honestly lost count how many people have asked us when the “number 3” will be coming. Well, to me, the pregnancy part all the way to the giving birth was easy peasy. Times two.

 

Then you bring the baby home. And get the hospital bill. And reality sets in.

 

Both Nic and I earn a pretty decent salary. We stay in a nice house. We eat out pretty often. Oh, but the kids are so expensive. Jay is in a full-time childcare; Xav in my office infantcare but will soon “graduate” to join his brother before the year end. I have a domestic helper who helps me keep the house in a liveable condition. Just the above-mentioned expenses take a HUGE chunk off my take-home income. And then there’s still milk powder, diapers, groceries, electrical bills, enrichment classes etc… And non-essential-but-still-pretty-important expense items like toys and ice-cream treats. Then there are the “other” expenses – and unfortunately, my clothes, online shopping sprees, shoes, and SK-II products fall into this category, alongside my manicures, pedicures and foot massages.

 

So it is really a matter of ability. Ability to provide the best for the kids. And truth be told, sure we CAN have another kid, but I think the “quality” of our life, while it might be enriched in many ways with the introduction of a third lil’ one, will also eat up in many other areas of our lives.

 

And so I think it is this very practical reason why we will choose to stop at two. (Disclaimer: Of course if I do have the third kid, we will do our best to give all three kids the best. Cos you never know, ya? Hahaha…) And while I appreciate the Singapore government’s help to want to increase the number of babies… just a one-off kind of Baby Bonus will simply not cut it. Not when I estimate that I will have spent a total of more than $80,000 to send my two boys through CHILDCARE (up to 6 years old). My dad spent about $15,000 to send me through three years of University in Singapore. I think cheaper baby products, and a more significant subsidy when it comes to the foreign domestic worker levy (which now stands at $175 a month for parents) or even tiered childcare subsidies for each subsequent child will be good, as it is not just about a one-off monetary boost, it is about helping with the finances on a more regular basis. 

 

Well, this is just my rant, and personal wishlist, I guess! Haha!

 

Have a Talkative Thursday post? Where you can pour out on anything (the antithesis of Wordless Wednesdays, if you will), and feel free to link up!

 
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The battle with eczema

My hubby is blessed with great skin. He hardly bothers to wash his face with some proper facial cleanser, and uses whatever is at hand. Toner? Moisturizer? Serum? Bleah… Not for him! And did I mention he has great skin? Sigh… Jay has taken after Daddy in this respect.

Unfortunately for Xav, he has my more problematic skin. I have acute urticaria (or more commonly known as hives) – which means I can break out in huge ugly red blotches on my skin. In my younger days, the breakout would happen after a dip in the pool (coming out of the pool, the sudden change in temperature would cause me to break out in hives), or having a meal of crabs or prawns. Now, it is a little more under control. But Xav has a bad case of eczema, something he has suffered with since young.

And due to an outbreak coupled with some serious scratching, this was how his face was about a week back.

Two reddish patches on his cheeks. And this was a kaypoh stranger magnet. We had brought him to see his pediatrician, who told us that while there was some cream (containing steroids)available, the doctor felt we could wait and not go for such a move. And so we did. We waited. And waited. But the patches didn’t heal.

And we have had strangers coming up, asking us if he fell (probably thinking we were horrid parents), if we knew to cut his nails to prevent him from scratching (probably thinking we were stupid parents), and advising us to try some home-style remedies (probably thinking we were hill-billy parents). And the last straw that broke the proverbial back (in other words, my parenting ego could handle no more beating) was when I was at NTUC Finest, and an auntie came up, tsk-tsked at Xav’s cheeks, and told me to apply lipstick on his face to make it better. I stared at her, picked up my slackened jaw, smiled and said, “Oh really? Okay.” And promptly stared intently at the labels of some organic bran while her son or son-in-law who overheard her advice came over and said, “Huh?” incredulously as well, and hurriedly ushered her away. All the while she was trying to justify the lipstick is a good idea. Ok. Thanks, but no thanks.

I had already purposed in my heart to return to my paedi to get the cream.

In church that same weekend, a friend dropped me a message, and you know how is it with true friends. They give you advice without shoving it down your throat and making you feel little. She simply told me she saw Xav’s cheeks, and thought I might already have seen a doctor for it but also recommended a dermatologist her son was seeing. Oh thank you. For your kindness and grace. Hahaha…

I elbowed the hubby (in the middle of the church service), showed him the message, and got the details from my friend.

 

This was how it looked like when we brought him to see the dermatologist.

And yes, he recommended steroid cream to ease the swelling and itch, and while it is not and should not be a long-term solution, it is effective. He assured us of results in 7 days.

Well, six days of applying the cream once-nightly later…

It has now reduced to a blush-ish hue on his cheeks, and the skin is also smoother.

*huge sigh of relief*

Well, the dermatologist did warn us that there is no real “cure” for eczema though the outbreaks will lessen as he grows up. Every night, we are praying and believing for a complete recovery – that this be the one and only outbreak he has!

I am thankful today for good friends, and good doctors. And most importantly, I am thankful that Xav finally almost-healed of his eczema outbreak on both cheeks!

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Child's play can be hard work!

Today, we are happy to welcome Dominique as our guest blogger on SANses. I got the chance to first meet Dom (and her feisty Tiger Girl) at a food tasting event, and since then, we have gotten to know each other via the Singapore Mom Bloggers facebook chat, and other events! She is a stay-at-home mom with three kids, and somehow seems to be able to balance it ALL so well. I asked her to share about how she balances both play and more serious "work" for the kids.

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Balancing study and play is not easy for a kid. Play ranks in high on their priority list and if they could they would rather play the whole day instead of studying. However as our society is still focus greatly on academic results I can't neglect one for the other.

How then as a parent can we get them prepared and ready for school without compromising their need for play?

I start training my kids from young. We work together to set up a study/play schedule and slowly teach  them how to properly manage their time.

Doggie boy is entering Primary one next year and it is essential for me to get him up to speed for the rigours of the new school which he would be attending.  There is a difference between studying in kindergarten and primary one. The class size is bigger and there will be less hand holding. Doggie boy will have to rely on himself more and be more proactive in his studies.  The speed of teaching will also differ and he will not be able to get as much personalized attention from the teacher when needed.

To ease his transition to the new school I have been coaching him daily after he returns home from childcare to brush up on his academic subjects.  We do not start lessons straight away but only after he has his down time to rest and relax.  Doggie boy is given half and hour to chill out in front of the TV or play with his toys or games we have at home when he comes home. I find that it is essential  that he gets time to rest first or "settle down" before  starting up again with work.  This way he is less grumpy and resistant towards doing the exercises which I assign him during our 1 on 1 tutoring  sessions.  To motivate him we  set aside time for family games and wi-fi  if the kids manage to complete their given exercise before winding down time for bed at night.

Learning at home is not just all pencil and book as I rotate the various teaching ads that we have. On certain nights we do interactive learning on the pc or iPad. On other occasions we take learning outdoor to the park or the neighbourhood shopping mall. While picking up the groceries he gets to practice his maths in counting, hone his analytical skills in making decisions on what to purchase and increase his vocabulary through reading the labels and ingredient lists that appear on the various packaging.  He gets to have fun too while learning as we incorporate play into learning.

So, how do you balance study and play for your kids?

Dominique Goh, Singaporean elementary school teacher, freelance writer and mom of three who is passionate about parenting and educating kids. In her free time you can see her dabbling in photography, cooking and cake decorating and blogging at Dominique’s Desk.

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Jump, skip… and now a bloghop

Today I am participating in the MOB Blog Hop, and if you are new to my blog, firstly - a huge hallo from me!

My blog
I am Sandra, a mummy blogger all the way from sunny Singapore. I work full-time, which only means… blogging is a great source of stress-relief for me. I enjoy blogging about my family, the funny antics the boys get up to, places to bring them, and yummy eats around the island.

My boys
Meet my handsomes.

My pride and my joy. 4.5 year old Jayvon and 16 month old Xavier.

With these two boys, it’s all about animals, dinosaurs, and now – Jay’s new love –Transformers and other Marvel Heroes! Now that my little one has learnt how to potter around the house independently, it also means… more fun times for them both! I know you’ve heard of the term “babytalk” with those goo-goo-gaa-gaa noises. Well, with Jay, he has invented a whole new language to communicate to his younger bro. A language I fondly call “noisychatter” which involves a lot of weird sounds and animated expressions. Somehow the two boys manage to communicate in their own unique way… so whatever works! Haha!

Being a parent of two active boys requires a lot of patience, love, and God’s grace, and I am really learning while “on-the-job”!

Games for the boys
This list changes like the weather… but for now our go-to games are: Jurassic Wars, City Square Off, and our perennial favourites – the Dinosaur Train figurines and other dinosaur books!

Linking up with MOB! Check out the other blogs below too.

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Weekend workout

Trampolines, bouncies, fun and music!

I remembered how much Jay enjoyed his gym classes in school, and on a whim, I decided to sign Xav up for a trial class at My Gym. And I “arrowed” the Daddy to accompany the little one for an hour of workout.

Oh, the Daddy came back with good reports on how much fun the little boy had!

I must admit, I really did think about signing him for a term. But *gulp*… we just need to think about the budget of it. For his age, it would be a good chance to interact (and a pre-cursor to “classes” when he gets to Pre-Nursery age!).

Decisions, decisions, decisions … but in the meantime, I enjoyed looking at my sweet boy’s looks of sheer enjoyment!

And while Xav enjoyed bouncing around at gym, I took the opportunity to bring Jay to one of his favourite places – The Polliwogs! We braved the slight drizzle, and was rewarded with a pretty empty gym for the first half an hour.

My weekly body combat gym class has nothing on Polliwogs, I tell you. My bones were ACHING… and I called for a french-fry-and-juice time-out to catch my breath!

And lo-and-behold, my saviour walked through the door. Meet Joel. Jay’s classmate and bestie!

 

And the two boys managed to entertain each other, and left their mummies free and unbent over.

Seeing the two cheeky boys interact… gives me renewed respect for all childcare teachers. Haha!

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Of a mummy and Neoprint machine

It was one of our usual Thursday nights. Bringing the kids out for dinner. We ended up at 112 Katong’s Charly T’s again (I missed the juicy chicken so!), and after dinner, we all casually wandered into the TimeZone arcade that was just beside the restaurant.

And lo-and-behold, we saw a blast from our past. Okay, the word “past” might not really cut it. History – maybe more like it.

A neoprint machine.

Gosh, I wish I took a photo of it! Haha! But with hands encumbered with an active four-year-old and a newly walking almost-two-year-old, it is hard to even whip out my handphone for a quick snap. In fact, it is hard to even pick up calls from the time I get off work to the time the kids call it a night. My very own “blackout” period.

And on the spur of the moment, I turned to my younger sis and told her we’re going to take a neoprint!

Xavier was the easier prey target. I just grabbed him into the spacious booth. Jay was happily jumping around outside the booth, and my hubby took the opportunity to also bow out. Humph… But it was so… youthful just choosing which psychedelic and neon-coloured backgrounds to have!

In the end, we chose 8 different backgrounds and had to take 8 different shots.

And with a wriggly boy and Jay running in and out of the booth, it was tougher than it looks.

Out of 8 shots, we finally managed to catch one with half of Jay in! He even “decorated” the photo with his name.

Parenting milestone… the kids’ first neoprint! (At least I had one semi-willing, not-much-choice-anyway boy)

Now… for a family neoprint shot? Hahaha!

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